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Silly Season

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Stock Car Racing
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Silly Season

Bill Crittenden
May 23, 2006

I have, yet again, found another version of the running rumor online about Dale Earnhardt, Jr. switching from Dale Earnhardt, Inc. to Richard Childress Racing and fielding a #3 GM Goodwrench car.

I for one, think it'd be cool.

But it ain't gonna happen.

That's how it all gets started.  Combine "Bill said it'd be cool to see Dale Jr. drive a #3 Goodwrench car for RCR" and a losing season where countless fans question DEI's chances of success, and it's a matter of time before it transforms into, "Dale Jr.'s gonna race a #3 Goodwrench car next year."

In honor of the rumor that has run unstopped (and unsubstatiated) since 2001, here's a bunch of extremely silly NASCAR-related things that I think would make racing more interesting:

  • 10.) Rusty Wallace in the Indianapolis 500  Well, he's retired, so he's not busy.  Roger Penske fields competitive cars, and the Indy 500 field is pretty thin.  Sponsorship shouldn't be a problem.
  • 9.) Bill Elliott in the Indianapolis 500  Another guy who's retired and can spend May in Indiana.  Awesome Bill doesn't have a connection (that I know of) with an IRL team, but he's got the Indianapolis Motor Speedway resume to make him a smart choice to put in a car.  Since 1994, it was one of his best tracks.
  • 8.) Tony Stewart leaves NASCAR for Formula 1  Tony's got the road track skills, the open-wheel experience, and you know he's not going to take any of Europe's anti-Americanism quietly.
  • 7.) Michael Schumacher in NASCAR  Come on, what NASCAR fan hasn't wondered how he'd handle the Bristol night race?
  • 6.) NASCAR Nextel Cup street race in Manhattan  So NASCAR wants to get New York's attention, but can't get a racetrack there?  Why not just dump Sonoma and tear through Times Square instead?
  • 5.) Change the homologation rules  NASCAR's homologation rules gave us such gems as the Charger 500, Gran Torino Talladega, and Superbird.  Why not nudge Ford and Dodge into making Fusions and Chargers into coupes?
  • 4.) Change the location of the All-Star race  Just as other sports change where they play their All-Star games (except for the NFL), NASCAR could try sending the All-Star race elsewhere.  Maybe an old track that they don't normally race on, like North Wilkesboro.  As it is now, it's turning into the Jimmie Johnson show.
  • 3.) A third road course race...at Daytona  Just as IROC is going to try out Daytona's road course this year to change things up, NASCAR could try a third date at Daytona's road course.
  • 2.) With the Car of Tomorrow...everybody's invited  If people criticize Dodge for being German, why not let it work both ways and with a simple decal change put a Mercedes-Benz into NASCAR with Dodge power under the hood?  Fords can be Mercurys and Lincolns, Chevrolets can be Buick, Pontiac, Cadillac, Saturn.  Toyotas can be Lexus.
  • 1.) Actually race stock cars  Really.  It's a lot of fun to watch, even though it's slower, and other racing sanctioning bodies don't seem to have too much problems with one manufacturer dominating a series.  Also, see #5.

    ©2006 Bill Crittenden

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