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It's The End of the Year, Time to Play With Our Johnson!


Stock Car Racing Topics:  Jimmie Johnson

It's The End of the Year, Time to Play With Our Johnson!

Jeremy T. Sellers
Jerm's Joint
November 10, 2008

I can't believe such an insult would befall the male member by being given the nick name "Johnson". (By the way, I named my wiener dog the same!) However, our dear Jimmie, I'm sure, wasn't even a glimmer in a teenage boy's eye when the term was branded. Yet, it seems so fitting to have someone by that surname involved in NASCAR's greatness. Am I praising him? Hell no...Kyle Busch is a great driver, but look where he ended up in The Chase; sucking whisker biscuits off of everyone else's curly butt hairs. (Which is fine by me, because until a hint of graciousness befalls him, he can BE one of those cling-ons for all I care!) What I'm saying is this season has seen the chase filled with an arrogance that I cannot recall within recent history of any championship battle. I will even throw my Jr. in the fire to the slightest here.

None of you, including those of you sitting there playing with your Johnsons, can say with a straight face and tell me this is what The Chase is suppose to entail. Even the most repsected NASCAR journalists and analyists are calling for a change to the championship format. I firmly believe that if daytime soap operas ran on Sunday, I would be watching them...as a matter of fact, I did find myself flipping back and forth between Phoenix and Sponge Bob yesterday! This season couldn't be more watered down if the Hoover Dam broke and swept it all away. Now, prepare to take a hit of of your inhalers, but Kyle Busch has eight victories this year, and in the end, will have little to show for it other than a fat bank account. (Maybe that's all that matters to him, I dunno) However, that many victories should account for something. (Also see Carl Edwards stats)

Our buddy Greg Biffle sure gave it a shot at trying to make it interesting by winning the first two chase races, but faultered in the end. Yet it appears The Chase will end again in the lap of someone who possesses the surname of the male member. Surly even Johnson fans were bored to tears by the championship run, right? Yesterday was about as fun as watching racing at California or New Hampshire. Before you jump on your high horses and send me hate mail about how "great" those tracks are...(is that lightening I see heading your way?)...what I'm trying to say is that there has been a tremendous loss of excitement and enthusiasm this season.

An article on NASCAR.com earlier last week spoke of this very theme, and Dale Jr. even added his two cents, for what it's worth, on how NASCAR could regain fan and driver enthusiasm. One: shorten the season, two: shorten races, especially at boob tracks, and three: add short tracks instead of boring, two mile, flat tracks. To counter the argument, and which is why we'll never see a shortened season, is the almighty corporate dollar. Sponsors (what's left of them) pay big bucks to stick their name on a race and to thief an event from the schedule, NASCAR wouldn't be able to do as much whoring out of themselves as they do today. Hell, Las Vegas has added 27 miles to next year's event in honor of Carroll Shelby, developer of the 427 Cubic Inch Engine. Can anyone tell me that Vegas is heart stopping in terms of excitement? Yes? You know your peter will fall off if you continue lying like that. Nonetheless, these are great suggestions that unfortunately, will never come to fruition and continue to batter a sport that's already falling to its knees.

I've always said I'm not an answers man, but I guess you could say I'm aware. The Chase needs a shake-up. Sure, we love our driver being the one in contention, but as a fan, can you honestly say you really enjoy said driver running away with the title? What fun is that? We want to see the championship come down to what it has in the truck series the last two years: the last race of the season! Cup drivers need to go into Homestead with their assholes puckered so tight that their farts would break glass due to their point spread being slim. War! Battle! Blood! Burnt Rubber! Banging Sheet Metal! Ah hell, who am I kidding? We've taken tag and dodgeball away from our playgrounds because kids might get hurt. Why would we want, what is suppose to be the most exciting time of the season, to be thrilling? That would be NASCAR Taboo!

Like a fool, I will stew these next couple months, getting psyched up for my trip to Daytona in February, with idiotic newfound enthusiasm and a mindset of "surly this season will be better than last", only to be proven wrong...again! History repeats itself, but come on, this is out of hand!

How funny would it be to see Travis Kvapil in The Chase next season! Hey, I'D buy a t-shirt! Anything to stir the pot for once. Regardless, I know I'm in trouble when I don't fully committ to a race when I'm watching it on television...hell, sometimes I even left the house! Two years ago, my wife considered herself a race widow, now, she's only partially disabled. These are the items that we, as fans, have to start sending a message to the upper crust at a once great sport's governing body. Fans are the basis that is all NASCAR. With us comes sponsorship, and with sponsorship, we should be rewarded with great racing. Can NASCAR look themselves in the mirror and say they've given us the best 36 shows they could have?

See you in Daytona!




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