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Certified parkist

American Government Special Collections Reference Desk

Certified parkist

Kavita Shenoy
January 12, 2007

Getting your drivers license is the next best thing to getting your first boyfriend.  I say this because of the sheer build up to getting that little card that gives you the right to be on the road is far more over whelming than passing your boards or landing a job.  The closer you are to the legal age the more pressure there is..

From there on it’s just you and the road.  You can end up being a road hog, the scared driver who sits so close to the steering wheel that their knees hit their chin, or one of the dudes who drive like they were born to do just that.

You begin a bit rusty, tending to avoid heavy traffic roads or the ones that have a slope with a traffic light at the top of it-half clutch is quite a deal to master.  All of this for a car-an expression of freedom.

Anyone can drive…anyone.  But park?  Now.  That’s an art.

Parallel parking, angle parking, parking next to a wall, and most of all backing your car out of a parking lot without having a chunk of the other car on one of your doors.

Nothing prepares you for it, not the whistling guard or the damn side view mirrors that have the cheek to say “objects may look closer”.  Thank you very much, this is just what I need, slamming on my breaks to realise I’m way away from hitting another car!

So in my eyes if driving were a subject –parking would be a specialization and if any good, you would be a “Parkist’.

I, for example am not a part of this elite club of people who know how park and do it with ease, grace and aplomb.  I am clumsy, jittery and deem it fit to use my winsome feminine wiles on some unassuming man to “please” park my car –the risk is that he might rev up and drive away into the sunset and I may have unwillingly abetted in the abduction of my own car.  At the very least I could say “It wasn’t my fault!”

So here’s to all the certified Parkists!  When you see an angled parked car, in a row of parallel parked vehicles.  Be kind.  We know no better.

About the author or the publisher Ex-advertising professional.Seeking new career in writing about everything and anything.

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