The Crittenden Automotive Library

Born On A Back Seat

Born On A Back Seat

Geoff Maxted
DriveWrite
December 13, 2013

Some people sing of being born on the 4th of July; others wax lyrical about being born with a smile on their face whilst some poor benighted souls were born under a bad sign. If however, you were born on the back seat of a knackered Mondeo you’ll probably want to keep it to yourself.

This sort of thing can shape a person. It can dictate your life. Imagine spending your days forever known as 'that Mondeo Boy’. Being conceived on the back seat of a car is one thing, but to greet the world to the sound of Depeche Mode and the lingering smell of recent kebabs is quite another.

Now, if an infant is born on the back seat of a Maserati Quattroporte somewhere along the Amalfi Coast with a nice view of Capri in the azure distance, then he or she will undoubtedly be a golden child destined for great things, especially if the dad’s name is Berlusconi. If however the poor unfortunate is born on the flat bed of an ancient El Camino pick-up near a trailer park in Utah, things could work out a whole lot different.

So, if an unborn person is to be given a choice of which vehicle to be born in, what should they choose? Obviously, if it is a Mercedes they will be German, probably successful, but not all that good at football and so on. If it’s a Toyota then the kid will be industrious and polite and if it’s a Fiat then the poor kid will always be incapable of forming a government. Any couples planning on having a family probably shouldn’t buy a Peel.

There’s a true story of a child born in a Volkswagen outside of a supermarket. Thankfully there were many people about to help but only after they had exhausted the batteries on their mobiles and posted the happy event on YouTube. Years on and the Mother still doesn’t want to talk about it. Young Jetta is none to keen on discussing it either.

In Scotland the first view a baby got of the world was of the foot well of the front passenger seat. His Dad wasn’t exactly overjoyed because they were so near to the hospital and he’d only just cleaned the carpet. One enterprising Dad managed to film his wife giving birth on the back seat. He was driving at the time. Also, there is a little girl who appeared at a set of traffic lights. They called her Amber, naturally.

Births in cars happen more often than you think. So if you’re considering buying a used car the chances are a baby got there before you. That’s a thought. Can the back seats of cars induce fertility? Now that really is a worry.