The Crittenden Automotive Library

Motorway Service Station Toilets - The Horror

Motorway Service Station Toilets - The Horror

Matt Hubbard
Speedmonkey
December 5, 2013

We've published several articles about winter tyres and the general consensus seems to be they are a good thing as they increase grip and reduce stopping distance.

When my son comes on a long journey with me we occasionally have to stop at service stations for toilet breaks, as you do.

I take my son to the toilet and the last thing I say to him before he heads into the cubicle (he's slightly too small for urinals) is "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

As a child he is an innocent. As an adult I know that a lot of other adults are filthy swines.

You go in these places and see the signs that says when they were last cleaned - usually quite recently. Yet the floors manage to be swilling with liquid and the walls often smeared with matter.

Toilet paper fills the floor, seats are often askew and the walls are daubed with graffiti. They smell dreadful and they look revolting.

Honestly, it makes me sick. I'll admit to being slightly OCD so my standards are high but the sheer feculence of these places amazes me.

The people who make this mess are the people who we see driving on the motorway and milling around in the motorway service station shop and canteen.

Do they do this at home? Do their wives or partners know they do this when not in their own toilet? Do they pee and leave used toilet paper all over their own floor. Do they write on their own toilet doors?

Maybe they do.

The worst I have come across are Magor and Sarn Park on the M4 in Wales, both are which are hideous and should be avoided at all costs, unless you want staphylococcus.

Having travelled across Europe a few times I know that French service station toilets are even worse than English but that German toilets are spotless.

Germany is the economic powerhouse of Europe. They seem to take pride in their houses, their cars and their motorway service station bogs.

Perhaps if the English and French didn't create quite so much mess in our motorway toilets our economies would be in a better state.

So the motto of this blog is: Robust economy = spotless lavvie. Keep it clean folks.