The Crittenden Automotive Library

Aftermarket alarms are the spawn of the devil

Topics: Porsche 924

Aftermarket alarms are the spawn of the devil

Matt Hubbard
Speedmonkey
August 3, 2013

When I bought the Porsche 924S I knew it came with a parasite embedded in its workings - a Toad alarm. I hate it and want it gone.

The alarm does nothing useful. It makes me have to press a button on a remote control to make my car start and it drains the battery in two days. Given I've got two cars and regularly run press cars the Porsche is often unused for a week at a time - and unless I disconnect it the battery is always flat and needs to be jump started.

The Porsche was made by efficient Germans. It is 26 years old and the only part of the car that doesn't work is the central locking system. The Toad alarm makes the entire car not work just by virtue of its stubbornness.

I only ever park the car on my drive or somewhere reasonably safe. It never gets left somewhere its likely to be stolen, such as on a city street or in Liverpool.

I want the alarm banished.

But it is so inveigled in the wiring system of the car it is impossible for me to remove it. I'm quite a practical person but get electrical dyslexia. I look at the spaghetti of wires and my brain goes blank. I have to get a DIY book out in order to wire a plug.

I tried to remove it this weekend but gave up after I realised I had no idea what I was doing.

My brother is very good with electrics and can remove the alarm with no problem. He removed a Toad alarm from his Golf a few years ago, for the same reasons. But he lives 200 miles away and the next time I'm due to see him I will have a Vauxhall Astra VXR press car and will take that.

So the Porsche remains hindered by its parasitic alarm and I remain foiled by a cunning electric opponent which I neither want nor need, and despise.