Toyota Cheated?! No!? Really!?

Topics:  Toyota

Jeremy T. Sellers
Jerm's Joint
August 18, 2008

I just had to do it...

Undeniably, even the most staunch Toyota fan had to figure something was amiss by the domination of the foreign make. Not just because of Kyle Busch winning everything, but other Toyotas running in close succession. Look at the turn-around Brian Vickers and AJ Almendinger have had recently. Stewart is beginning to knock on the door, and even Michael Waltrip has a snowball's chance in hell at making the top 35. All of this, while other manufacturers not neccessarily fade into the sunset, but they're not standing up and screaming for vengence either. Then, the truth came out.

During the good ol' horsepower tests that NASCAR conducts with all makes to ensure equality across the board on impounded cars does at least one team find itself outted. JGR's Nationwide cars, found to have magnets and schims under the throttle to prevent them from running wide open to make it seem as if they were actually under-powered compared to the other makes. Genius, I must admit, but how long did they believe the dance would last before even NASCAR (in it's self-indulged haze) sat back and said, "You know, those damn Toyotas seem to have more juevos than any other make on the track, maybe we should look into this?"

Now granted, this has yet to affect any of the cup operations, but whether it's publicized or not, you can bet your whisker biscuits (dry pieces of poop that cling to your butt hairs and won't let go) that not only JGR, but all Toyota operations across the board will be placed under the microscope. Am I getting a chuckle out of this? You betchya, but for two reasons. The first, they finally got caught, and two, the fact that it took the sorry asses at NASCAR this long to find out. Co-incidence, maybe, who knows.

It should be interesting to hear the excuses that Toyota fans come up with since this runny pile of shit has hit the fan. Until next time!